Dissociation

You're right there in front of me. I didn't know what to do. My heart was beating fast, my stomach dropped, my mind was racing. I could feel the adrenaline in my veins, all rushing into my anorexic heart. Sometimes I forget the source of which these feelings came from. It only happened when my eyes catch a glimpse of you or my thoughts being invaded by you. It was wild, intense, scary and exciting. An internal holocaust inside of me. Mad chaos and extreme desire. But all of that is hidden under a poker face. The world seemed to be blocked out and my eyes just gazed right through you. I'm in a great relationship with my solitude but when lonely interferes, rebellion takes over. Lost in the woods and you're hiding in a veil of darkness. Only a vixen could save me from myself. Secrets haunt me and that's why I'm awake. I dig up the dead to find for answers. All the answers were volatile. Embellishments of fear, curiosity and excitement made its mark. Hence, I forgot the source of which I came from. Father, forgive me. These dreams seemed to have sucked me into this big void of discombobulating chaos. Searching for that person and seeking for some answers. And as I waited, it found me before I did.. and the carousel spins even faster..

Greetings From Mars

From the outside looking in.

Different flavors of the same flavor

Lost in the woods

And I'm back. been one heck of a month. Literally studied my brains off and the papers scared the Jesus out of me. Well all that hard work has paid off as so far I've gotten 2As 1B and 1C( curse BM ). Uncertain about the other ones though. Hope they'll be great.
Well I've gotten over that person. THANK YOU ALL SUPERNATURAL FORCES OF LOVE ! It's like whenever I see you, I don't feel anything. No skipping heartbeats, no demented smiles and no weird shenanigans.However, my " I don't like anybody " charade only went on for about a week or so. There's another person. Phuck, I know right? Ya'll must be portraying me as some kind of player but honestly, I'm not. And this whole thing is confusing.

           " Please get me out of this discombobulating carousel. "

I don't know, if it doesn't happen then I'm sure it's for a reason. I've already been through this for like a year and finally, I've been released from that prison sentence. And I guess I'm in trouble again - just waiting for the jury shoot me with that arrow.

I still don't know where my brain's at and my heart.  I'm still finding myself.  And people, I AM NOT A STUCK UP WHORE OR ANYTHING. I'M JUST SERIOUSLY SHY. It's how I am and if you can't deal with it, tough !

             " don't ever leave me in the dark... alone... with my mind... it's dangerous. "

I have this new insane obsession towards the Goth culture. I love Goths. they're awesome. My friends tell me that I'm pale. I feel like a n*gga if you ask me. LOL.

I went to watch Step Up Revolution with my friends and it was BEYOND AMAZING. The choreography, storyline was amazing. I loved it. We went to Sunway. As usual, I got my Starbucks coffee and we roamed around the mall like a bunch of vagabonds. We had fun. I got lost in Asian Avenue though. It may seem small but some things are bigger than you think. After that we went to have TGIF for lunch. We talked and laughed our asses off. One of them told me that I was really sarcastic. I don't notice it but all of them agreed. Apparently, I have this emotion-less voice. They can't determine whether if I'm just talking directly or indirectly insulting them. They said I was the male Kristin Stewart. LOL. I ain't no cheating hoebag. We had heaps of fun.

And I know I use a lot of metaphors in my writing. And the sentences in " Italy " font are written and created by me. Some people won't get it and ya know, whatever. Perks of being mysteriously demented.

Well, guess that's it for now. Gonna spend my one week of holidays studying and some human sacrifices. Buenos Dias !